Saturday 24th September 2022 changed everything in my life.
I had spent the past 9 and a bit months prepping the best I knew how, reading everything I could get my hands on and listening to advice from as many people as possible. This is on top of years of day dreaming and imagining what it would be like and thinking that it doesn't look that hard- in fact it looks like it would be right up my street.
I am calm by nature (on the outside anyway), I am confident that I can pick things up to an ok standard pretty quickly and after all how difficult could it be?
Little did I know it would be the most confusing, lonely and worryingly difficult thing I had ever done and nothing I had read, listened to or observed had prepared me for the slap of reality.
Saturday 24th September 2022 at 5.33am exactly, my daughter Orla was born at a healthy 8lbs and this never ending rollercoaster of what we call parenthood had begun. It has no off switch or safety net. No refunds are allowed. There is no turning back.
I quickly realised that I wasn't ready.
I had learned stuff...lots of stuff in fact. But as my journey progressed I realised it's the stuff that no one tells you that has been the hardest to deal with and it is this stuff that I just wish someone had said to me... "Chris, you are likely going to feel like this, worry about that, panic about these things and it's all ok and you will be grand"
So I decided that I wanted to put my own thoughts down in written form, mostly to get it off my chest. But also because I made the decision a while ago that I would be honest with anyone who asked me what being a dad was really like.
Over this series of blogs I will be laying out my truth- the good, the not so good and everything in between.
I am going to share my experience from the point me and my wife decided to try for our first child all the way up to present day (and beyond) focusing on my key feelings and learnings along the way.
Don't worry, my wife knows I am writing this and has even given me some grammatical advice..but the words are mine, the memories are fresh and the rollercoaster is just getting started.
Am I hoping to make a difference to someone else?
Maybe
If another dad reads this and it helps them then great. If some parents read it and they think back and relate then that is excellent. If some mums read it and feel more knowledgeable into the possible feelings of their partners, that is awesome. If you just read it and think, Chris, you are mental...that is cool too.
This is the Secret Life of Dads